The Disappearing Artist

Creativity comes in waves, ebbs & flows and like our emotional state and life.. it evolves.

I thought that I had lost my ability to create something “good enough” to be seen in a light that I was looking to others to create for me.

There was suddenly a pressure to be seen, to perform, to feel like I needed to capitalize off of social media “fame” in order to be seen or recognized as an artist. I felt it, I knew it and I felt like even though that reality seemed inevitable, I never conformed to it.

I stepped away..

I stepped away from being seen in any capacity because honestly, the constant visibility was making me lose who I was as a creative.

When you do things constantly for monetary gain without occasionally stepping away to remember “why” or what drew you to create in the first place, everything you do becomes a relentless cycle of managing expectations instead of existing in who you are as an artist.

In the shadows I rediscovered myself. I allowed myself to connect with color by savoring it, connect with my dreams by interpreting them and writing about it, connect with composition by seeing the world through the lens of presence and I was able to finally connect myself back to art.

If you ever feel lost in anything, being present is how you restore your heart’s compass. In restoration, I was able to unlock new passions and tap into my creativity like never before.

Now how do I reappear without the fear of losing myself again? By choosing presence over expectation.